I have the tendency of staying quiet.
I generally don't like to draw attention to myself - I prefer to lay low, keep my head down, and not rock the boat.
It's certainly kept me out of trouble for basically my whole life, but now I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of not saying what I want to say, of being scared of what others may think, and of hiding myself to make everyone else more comfortable.
Do you believe that blocked emotions can cause illness and dis-ease? I've seen too much proof to ignore it. For a few years now, I've been connecting my silence with my frequent bouts of strep throat, bronchitis, laryngitis. Do you know the feeling of stopping yourself from speaking your truth? How a golf ball gets stuck in your throat when you want to stop yourself from showing emotion? That's the feeling I know best, and I think it's time to let it go.
My golf ball has made me so sick for so many years that I'm finally learning my lesson. Thanks golf-ball-in-throat, it's been real but I'll see you never.
My dream for old age is to a) be healthy and b) be one of those grandmas who says what she's thinking and doesn't try to hide who she is. You know that lady? I want to be her, but I want to be her now.
So here I am, ready to speak my truth. If someone comes along and doesn't like it, well, too bad. If I try to shut myself down, well, that's no longer an option. At my old job, when someone lost in a contest, we all yelled "Bye-byeeeee" loudly and obnoxiously. (Hey GOs, you know what I mean). That is now my inner dialogue to myself and to anyone who hates on me saying what I think louder than ever before.
We all have a place to share our voices in this world. I hope you join me in this terrifying and exhilarating journey of speaking our truths and making ourselves heard. Keep your head up. Don't be afraid to rock the boat. I look forward to hearing what you have to say.